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Hell on High Heels (part duex)

When we last left, the fearless twosome were on a never ending quest for glam.

Now, back to regular programming:

Instead of Vains of Jenna, Drugstore Valentine took to the stage. The Akron-bred, Cincinnati based group wasn't nearly as bad as their predecessors, and that's saying a lot. Their lead singer played dress-up, wearing a fur coat on stage just like Kid Rock. Old Kenny Ozz (he's the infamous lead singer) wasn't afraid of moving, and he liked crowd interaction. He jumped on the bar, ran around the room. He probably can't afford a gym membership. Drugstore Valentine is an odd mix of "music," and they were trying to be a little glam. To bad they fell short of the goal. A highlight of their show was a Poison cover of I Hate Every Bone In Your Body (But Mine). Too bad our friend Ozz doesn't sound (or look) anything like Bret Michaels.

It was during the intermission that we noticed the boys in Vains of Jenna milling around the club. They looked uncomfortable, but not nervous. They were probably afraid the crowd would attack them if they sang songs with intelligible lyrics. As the bassist, JP White walked by us, Heather grabbed his arm and asked when they were playing. He laughed -er - cackled and said "Next, ladies. Next, after these people." And the flipped his arm toward the stage. I laughed, for I'd just had another postmodern moment at the expense of glam.

My boy JP was wrong.

After Drugstore Valentine, it was time for a holiday, a Pagan Holiday (1313) evidently. The Cincinnati based band has a fairly local following, and a huge chunk of the crowd was there to see the horror metal band. Just like the other bands, I thought these guys were pretty vile, but I have a specific beef with Pagan Holiday 1313: they like to rip off Motley Crue. As anyone who reads this blog knows, Motley Crue - especially Nikki Sixx - is sacred territory in my book. Bassist Mike Pagan bears an odd resemblance to Nikki Sixx (except he's about 100 pounds heavier). Pagan rips off Nikki's hair, eyeliner, stage mannerisms, he even had on a MC Shout at the Devil shirt! To put the final nail in the coffin, Pagan spit blood during their "show." Please. Nikki Sixx and Motley Crue have been spitting blood at shows for two decades. Give me a break. It might not be such an insult if the band sounded 1 percent as good as the Crue. Sadly, Pagan Holiday 1313 is an abortion of music. It's a good thing I'm all about choice.

At one point we left the club and went to the bar next door. It was just too much bad for two good girls to take. I mean, bad.

And then, to the victor goes the spoils. It was time. Vains of Jenna finally took the stage at 12:45 A.M., more than five hours after we originally entered the club.

After waiting so long, risking life and limb for glam, we pushed our way to the front row and waited, and we were not disappointed. When Vains of Jenna finally started their show, Heather and I were thisclose to the action. Our new friend JP posed for pictures, and generally the young Swedes just rocked,  hard. Unfortunately, they didn't perform the title song off their debut album Lit Up/Let Down, which also happens to be my favorite VOJ track. They played through all their fast songs with a frenetic energy the goth crowd seemed to actually enjoy. If the boys had attempted the slower Lit Up/Let Down, beer bottles probably would have been hurled toward the stage, and since I was basically on the stage I'm glad there was none of that. Their portion of the evening was fun, and people were actually smiling.

After the performance, Heather and I decided to look at the merchandise table. As we were browsing the customary concert swag, I inquired about the price of a shirt to the man sitting at the booth. He blinked and said he was just watching the booth. I blinked back. Was I speaking Greek? Apparently, Vains of Jenna sell their own merchandise, and sure enough lead singer Lizzy Devine trotted over to the little table to shirts and photos. I bought a shirt for a very reasonable $15 and Heather a necklace for $10. When I handed over my cash, poor Lizzy looked like he was going to cry. "Thanks for buying this. We really need it," he said. The band kept their money in a jar. On top of the jar was a yellow sticky note that read "We need gas money." Every member of the band is heinously thin. I hope their little indie label gave them a big enough advance that covers a stop at McDonalds once a day.

After this, we were out. Called a cab, skipped the headliner Wednesday 13. Of course, we had to wait more than 30 minutes for a cab. During our wait,  we we're fortunate enough to witness a full on domestic dispute outside the club. As we stood just outside the club door, Wednesday 13 took the stage and played a song that sounded very familiar to me. During the bridge, it hit me: Wednesday 13 blatantly and unabashedly ripped off Shout at the Devil, (the song, not the entire album). These people are bigger Crue heads than me! As I voiced my disgust over the finding to Heather, the domestic dispute stopped and starred at me. Apparently, it's sacrilegious to speak ill of Wednesday 13. Whatever.

During the never ending wait for a cab, two members of Vains of Jenna trotted out, walked up the street, and then returned. They milled around us for a while, both Heather and I were on respective cell phones, trying to get a cab, desperate to get away from the Jerry Springer scene unfolding around us. Finally, they gave up and went inside. I suppose had I not been on my phone, I'd have an interview with the band to post here. The world may never know.

Tomorrow, some comments from Heather, a special contributor to Bring Back Glam!


Reader Comments (10)

Well, well, well. Where to begin..... first off If I dont "look or sound" anything like Bret Michaels on the song "I hate every bone in your body but mine" Im not sure thats a bad thing. Considering Bret wears a wig and has dentures and, most importantly, DOESNT EVEN SING THAT SONG!! C.C. Deville does. I would of thought you would of done better research than that. Second off, I cant help but notice the hypocracy of your stories. You wanted to "see a real v.o.j. show" but when they played at a sleazy, dirty venue it wasnt up to your standards? What the hell is that? Thats what 80's glam metal was all about!! You can hear all of our glam idols reminisce about playing at the whiskey, the troubadour, etc etc etc and all they ever talked about was the "constant smell of urine and puke". SO seeing v.o.j in that type of venue is more their style, and as you saw, they where able to be themselves and play to a REAL rock crowd!! Third off, I dont think its cool to attack how the fans at the Wednesday 13 show where dressed.. Wasnt that ALSO what glam was about back in the day? Dress to impress, dres to shock, whatever it takes!! And dont be so critical because it want v.o.j's show, they where the support for Wednesday!! Once again, it was better than seeing our sweedish boys in the frat boy/ rap music HELL of Rhinos!!
I really respect what you all do here on the online mag, but in MY opinion you all need to check your facts, be less critical of your surroundings, and actually enjoy the show instead of being so cynical all the time. And just so your not confused by this, im not pissed off or ranting, im just offering an opinion and a rebutal to your comments. I am known as "glam rock" Kenny and love the glam more than maybe even you all, but lets face it... If we dont support bands like Wednesday 13, who has glam roots, glam will surely die forever.. Motley Crue aint getting no younger, Poison aint so pretty anymore, and were never gonna get "big hair" on MTV again. So yeah, be less critical and enjoy a show. Cheers~~~~~Kenny Ozz~~~Drugstore Valentine... Feel free to email me or find us on myspace...
How many months ago did you graduate high school?? Your facts suck..your review is based on looks not music..hmm you sound like a teeny bopper to me hun!If you're into all that Glam maybe you'd understand that it's about Attitude and energy like Kenny told you..not the last back Street Boys show your Mom took you to. Go and get the new Paris Hilton cd becuase you sure as [...] know NOTHING about Rock n Roll.I think you're a sad excuse for a journalist when you base music on appreance and create instant judgements about people and situations.Yes..I'm VERY influenced by the what if I dont want to look like a lumber Jack from Seattle?SO [...] what? Look at a majority (yes BIG word here) have taken that look from mr. Sixx.Hmm..Avenged sevenfold..Beautiful Creatures.Probably never heard them have you?Is it wrong that I'm wearing "shout At the Devil" I didnt know I wasnt allowed to wear a shirt from bands I like on time I'll ask your permission.Perhaps in the future you'll finish up that grade school eduacation and learn that you totaly missed the point of what the Glam /L.A strip movement actually meant!
March 23, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMike Pagan
OOOooOoOO! I have a comment! How about this? You don't know [...]. You wouldn't know good music if it bit you in the ass! I would bet money that you are under 20....because you obviously don't know what GLAM ROCK is. Like Ozz was saying....dirty clubs, big hair....that's what it's all about. I love Motley Crue just as much as you, [...], I got their logo tattooed on my back....but I don't condemn bands for doing a Motley cover.....WTF???? Why is that so wrong? Also....Nikki Sixx isn't the only rockstar with big hair and in eyeliner, you can go [...] yourself on that opinion.

Maybe if you up the dosage on the prozac you'll be able to have a better time when you go out?? I mean hell, you take the time to get all pretty and go out to see your GLAM bands.......why not at least TRY to enjoy yourself???
March 23, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterRocket Queen
Wow...that has to be the biggest load of horse shit that I have read in quite a while...amazing.

So, the singer for Only Flesh acted as if he were on coke...okay...and I guess you failed to notice the obscene amount of drugs the man "near and dear to your heart" did, huh? In case you're not bright enough to realize whom I'm talking about, that would be Nikki Sixx. You see, I also am a huge fan of Motely Crue and I happen to like the fact that a whole new generation of bands are influenced by them. Which brings me to my next point...and apparently, the point of several others that have already responded...

You claim you love glam rock so much, you seem not to know shit about it, as pointed out by Kenny Oz in the numerous facts you seemed to have overlooked. Not to mention, the majority of your criticism was about everyone's appearance and not much about the actual music...yet we're not seeing a picture of you on here, princess...

If you had paid attention, Only Flesh ended their set with a cover of Quiet Riot's Metal Health. A song, just in case you've never heard before, opened the doorway for glam rock in the 80's. Mike Pagan's Shout At The Devil shirt was also a welcomed sight. See, I actually like more than two bands. It excites me to be able to go to a club and see these bands instead of grunge and the sweater-wearing alternative scene. The 90's destroyed the fun and image that was glam rock.

You seem to have an issue with all of the bands that played, minus VOJ, without even having the IQ to understand what was happening right in front of you. Wednesday 13 was in a glam band, for Christ's sake... You claim that you would like to work for Metal Edge Magazine...what would they say about a comment such as, "To put the final nail in the coffin, Pagan spit blood during their 'show.' Please. Nikki Sixx and Motley Crue have been spitting blood at shows for two decades. Give me a break.?" Do you not realize how ignorant this makes you sound? Have you not ever heard of a band called Kiss??? A band that obviously influenced Motley Crue at the beginning of their career. And I'd also like to point out, that no one in Pagan spit blood, like Gene Simmons, circa 1975, but were merely wearing it. Pagan's blood-covered image comes from Kiss, Samhain, Alice Cooper, Impaler, and NUMEROUS other bands and horror films just as much as it came from Motley Crue...

As far as Kenny's fur coat making him look like Kid Rock, where the hell do you think Kid Rock got it from?? Ever heard of Steven Tyler, Pretty Boy Floyd, Dave Lee Roth, Ozzy...just to name a few here... And where do you get off talking about anyone's weight? Who the [...] are you to judge? Have you seen Vince Neil or Taime Downe from Faster Pussycat, lately?? And I am, by no means, putting these guys down, as I happen to prefer men that do not look like strung out heroin junkies, but they are a little "healthier" than they used to be.

Your slamming of the bands that night is absurd, due to the fact that they are all HUGELY influenced by glam. Seems to me that your supposed "obsession" with glam must be a new trend. And I say this because, to me, your putting down the very music, image, and environment the glam scene embraced. Only a stuck up, prissy, boy-band-loving, TRL-watching poser would have the audacity to believe the crap in your review.

As "Rocket Queen" said, Motley Crue was not and will not ever be the only band to have big hair and wear eyeliner. Perhaps, you should read the old Metal Edge...not the current issue with Nickelback on the cover.

I hope Sammi Curr invites YOU to the woodshop of your highschool...66 Crush!
March 23, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMs. Bathory
I saw them in Orlando with poison and i thought they were very good....
July 17, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterdana
I think everyone make a good point. While I enjoy your blog, with this particular post, all you did was slam all the performancer's appearance, and said nothing of their music. I hope I am correct, from reading your blog, that you are actually a music lover, and know that the appearance is secondary to the music. If you didn't care for the music of these bands, perhaps you should have stated that, instead of dogging how performers looked.
August 2, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSocietyDweller
I love VOJ, its just too bad they don't get any airplay.
September 13, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMary
It is sacrilegious to speak ill of Wednesday 13. May VERY BAD THING Happen to you!!
September 26, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSalemFrost
I was at this show as well as the show in cleveland. VOJ put on a heck of a show both times.

I also saw them in Columbus with Poison and was proud to be one of the handful of people up and rocking out with them.

However, it would be nice if you could check your facts and history of Glam metal before you go spouting off and making all women, who love glam & metal, sound like the idiot you obviously are.

As for Weds 13... well if you dont know I'm not going to waste my time telling you.
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