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This Will Be My Short Aerosmith Post

Posted on Tuesday, November 10, 2009 at 12:01AM by Registered CommenterAllyson B. Crawford | Comments31 Comments

I've refused to comment on the Aerosmith rumors about Steven Tyler quitting the band until now. As you may know, Aerosmith is my favorite band. They have been the most important band in my life, serving as a musical soundtrack to my grade school and high school years. Aerosmith was so important to me, their entire act got me obsessed with the industry as a whole. At some point in high school, it dawned on me I could make a living doing something that revolved around rock music. Over a decade later, here I am.

All that said, it must seem pretty clear all these Aerosmith rumors are upsetting to me. First off, I am not believing anything until someone from Aerosmith releases an official statement. Second, if the rumors are true and Tyler really is out, then I certainly hope the remainder of Aerosmith has enough sense to call it a day instead of search for a new singer. An Aerosmith without Steven Tyler doesn't work, plain and simple. Every member of the band is so important to the overall sound, none of the five guys can be replaced. If things are so bad in millionaire land, then Aerosmith should do one thing for their fans, and that is to do a proper good-bye show and have the damn thing televised on HBO or something. The concert could be massive, at a venue like Madison Square Garden, the band could play for three hours and the memory could be intact. Guest stars such as Slash could come out and jam and maybe roast the band in-between songs. For Aerosmith's career to seemingly end on such a sour note as is being reported is not only a shame, it's also plain shitty.

I'll have more to say on this matter in the days ahead. Like I said, I'm still waiting on an official press release from the band.

 

 

Reader Comments (31)

Well, if Tyler quit then they should call it a day as Aerosmith for sure. No one can or should fill his shoes.
I'm fine with the other guys going out on their own or with a new singer as long as they rename the band (and write some new tunes to back up a tour).
I've seen Aerosmith three times (even met them once)and always had a blast, but in all honesty they haven't put out a great record since "Pump".
November 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSnoot
"Pump"?, hell...ROCKS!
November 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMetalboy!
So, y'know, put out "ROCKS II" (working title), something that rivals "Toys" and "Rocks", a Glam Metal album like we all know still has to be in 'em, do the big date at the Garden, like you say, Al, a la the Beatles' rooftop farewell gig, where they were done but did this one last show, which, as we all know, was a free live performance, though in their case, not really in front of anybody, per se, but on the roof of Abby Road and then made into a movie and album, right?, I think, or parts of "Let It Be". But what the hell, this is about Aerosmith...

What if they performed in Central Park for free? Keep everyone on pins and needles and do it in the spring. If they can't wait, do it out West.

But I really hope it's just a rumor and Tyler gets it together.

p.s. Snoot! Saw 'em off "Toys" in '75, "Rocks" in '76, "Night in the Ruts", '79 (not too long before they broke up), "Rock in a Hard Place" in '83 (?) with Crespo, and just wrote 'em off during the 80's for better or worse, and then at last saw 'em in '07 and 3rd row, after Tyler came back from the surgery. I never got to meet him like you, lucky dog, but we were so close, he actually held the mike out to us so we could sing the word "Jaded" after him during the song (oddly, one of just a handful of tunes I like from the "reformed" years, those being, "Let The Music Do The Talking" (Joe Perry cover!), "Shut Up And Dance", and as I mentioned, "Jaded". I guess "Janie's Got A Gun" was all right and the song "Eat The Rich", too, kinda. And "Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" for a nice slice of Power Ballad Cheese. Oh, and I liked "When The Lightning Strikes" off "Rock In A Hard Place", too. Otherwise, it's really the stuff before "Night In The Ruts" that kicks *ss, as "Night" and even half of "Draw The Line" are a bit spotty, to put it mildly. The song, "Draw The Line" totally kills, tho!

C'mon, Tyler, "Chip Away The Stone"!
November 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMetalboy!
Dude Pump was amazing. and so was every other Aerosmith record.
November 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMotleyCrue666
Metalboy! I saw them in '89, '94 and '99. The last time I worked at a radio station so we had a meet n' greet with them. Shook their hands, got my picture taken and spoke a little bit with Tom Hamilton.
I also said hello to a couple of the Black Crowes (they were openers on the tour here in Europe) as we passed their dressing room before the show.
November 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSnoot
Heartbreaking doesn't even come close to cover what this means to me. I'm still trying to find hope that the greatest American Rock Band of All Time will Prevail!
November 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkari
I will say this, when I saw 'em at Jones Beach on Long Island in '07, I realized Tyler had more talent in his pinky finger than the whole entire body of every living soul in that stadium (about 15,000 people), if not all of Long Island that night. He'd also be right up there with just a handful of people in the country, if not the world.

And that night in '07, he was stunning the crowd and I think, even himself, hitting the high notes and sustaining 'em, making raspberries like a horse at one point as he retreated back from the runway out in the audience to the stage, head held high, so proud he could hit one note for so long and high. They played their a*ses off and made Motley Crue (who opened for 'em) look like their baggage handlers (no offense, MotleyCrue666, I got all Crue's stuff and seen 'em 3 times, including that same night when Tommy hung out with us for a full ten minutes at the edge of the stage after their set and gave us a couple of swigs off his Jager).

Back to 'Smith... Snoot, so cool you talked to Hamilton. He's another God at the altar we call Rock and Roll, having come up with the riff for "Sick As A Dog", easily one of my top 5 Aerosmith tunes and one of my fave R'n'R songs of all time, bar none. Funny you mention Black Crowes (saw 'em 5 times, which was 4 too many, really, which I'll explain), as I talked to Chris Robinson while I grabbed a smoke between courses in front of Rauol's restaurant on Prince Street in Soho, NYC, where he was havin' a glass of red wine with some A&R lookin' dude.

I actually had the audacity to tell Robinson I thought Junkyard blew 'em out of the water when the Crowes opened for them (!) at the Cat Club in '90. He laughed but then sadly lamented that one of the dudes from Junkyard had R.I.P.'d. My main beef with the Crowes is his brother Rich comes off as a narcissistic jerk (even worse than myself) on stage and is rumored to be the doorman of the revolving door for the lead guitarists they've had over the years. That dude, Jeff Cease, who was the guitarist for 'em when I first saw 'em in '90 off "Shake Your Money Maker" was just blazin' (Hell, I thought he coulda given Dicky Betts a run for his money, no lie!) that night. I heard Rich couldn't handle being upstaged by Cease and talked Chris into firin' the dude. Wonder whatever happened to Cease?

After that I saw 'em 4 more times, including the following year when Junkyard was now opening for them at the Cat Club (oh, sad irony!)! Then I saw 'em at the Beacon twice and finally, 4th row, Madison Square Garden where they opened for ZZ Top (mindblowing!). Rich Robinson had the leash on whoever the guitarist was at that point, ensuring the delivery of yet another boring show. Long gone were the extended leads and pyrotechnics Cease delivered when I first saw 'em.

But what the hay, I'm digressin' way off here. Sorry, R'n'Rer's, this is supposed to be about Aerosmith. Talk about blazin', there was Perry point blank on stage at Jones Beach, gold metal flake topped Les Paul slung down low, I guess he was age 57 or so, at the time, out duckwalkin' Page, rollin' around on the ground in gold glitter crankin' an endless final lead to "Train Kept A Rollin' in the final encore, rollin' back up to his feet without stoppin' his lead. Still buff at 57, vintage black bell bottomed leathers, circa '74, shirtless, glistening in sweat, the gold glitter clingin' to his back.

After that, I dubbed it "The Glitter And Sweat Tour" I hope they can keep it going.

Kari's right, Aerosmith is The Greatest American Rock Band of All Time!

Godspeed to Tyler! May he find his way back! As long as he's breathin', he's gotta keep givin' us all he's got, if he's still got it in him!

"ROCKS" rules!
November 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMetalboy!
the sad part is that, according to quotes from Joe Perry, he seems to be interested in finding a new singer if tyler is indeed out. I agree with you, this would be a horrible idea. tyler's voice and singing style are so crucial to Aerosmith's sound that, even if the rest of the band is playing the songs, they would still sound like an Aerosmith cover band with anyone other than Tyler on vocals. All of that said, I personally think Aerosmith should have called it a day at least 15 years ago.
November 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBob
With ya on that last sentiment, Bobby, my boy. But when "Done With Mirrors" didn't deliver (with the exception of the Perry penned, "Let The Music Do The Talking"), that's when they shoulda quit, really. That shoulda been "Rocks 2". You're so right, also, without Tyler, forget it.

Maybe Perry should team up with somebody else and form a new band. His solo stuff doesn't really cut it for me and I have all of it. Really just the fact that he's singin' lead on it is not the way to go for him. Get a killer singer, but form a new band like Slash did with Velvet Revolver, albeit, that stuff was less than stellar but was half decent.

That clip of Perry on Ellen that Allyson posted on here, showed how "switched on" and together that guy is. Maybe Tyler's just goin' through the usual denial routine, creating distraction, not facing his demons, gettin' it together and gettin' back together with them.

Hell, hate to say it, but if he really cleaned up his act and got firing on all pistons again, he could put out a helluva solo album, something's he's never done, in contrast to Perry's 5 solo records.

If Tyler wants to win a p*ssing match, he should do a solo record and let the chips (chipped away from the stone, no doubt) fall where they may. Chances are it has a fair shot and every potential of being his crowning achievement, believe it or not.

Then he could reassess his options and maybe patch it up with the boys and continue on.
November 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMetalboy!
Metalboy,
Hamilton is also responsible for the riff to Sweet Emotion!
If anyone here has read their autobiography Walk This Way, they'd be aware that these guys (especially Tyler And Perry) have fought like cats and dogs over the years, but always seem to work it out. Hopefully that'll happen again this time?? They've been together almost 40 years,so it's kind of like a marriage I suppose. Sometimes you need some apart time to realize that your better off together...
November 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGary
Gary! Well said. And I forgot about Hamilton's "Sweet Emotion". Now there's a bass player worth his salt! What a talent!

Yeah, I read that book when it came out...pretty good.

I also saw 'em personally fighting like cats and dogs right out on stage during the set when I saw 'em off "Rocks", which was the most badassed and messed up I've ever seen 'em. Total jam band for that show. Gloriously sloppy and random but still somehow amazingly awesome. Joe was a beautiful shambles with the wing job hairdo in full force, black vinyl but Page-esque jumpsuit (circa '73 sans the Dragons, etc) from head to toe, Tyler ramblin' on and on, even not bothering to sing a line or a verse here and there.

These guys were not interacting at all, except for a few side bars during the songs while Whitford picked up the slack. At one point Tyler spit on an audience member and chucked one of those huge old school G.E. fans on a stand into the audience, all the while singin', without missing a word now, tho, during whichever number it was. Dude's ya want Metal? I got it that afternoon. RFK Stadium, Spring of '76. "Round and Round" at deafening decibel levels, let alone, "Back In The Saddle", etc. I also don't think they were lovin' following Skynyrd who had just blown the sky off the place, literally, as it only stopped raining during their set, Mr. Sunshine (in more ways than one), presiding.

Once Skynyrd walked off after laying waste to the place with "Freebird", these original sleazoids had to go out there and somehow make sense of it all in the rain again, after being one upped by Lynyrd. Needless, to say, it was none to pretty, but I still liked it better, warts (and squabbles) and all!

Side Note: Creepier than the behavior of the Toxic Twins, still was the fact that someone plummeted to their death from the upper deck of the stadium and no one seemed to care. The band just played on as if nothing ever happened. Then again, they might not have noticed. You gotta remember, back then, everyone was stoned (in every possible sense of the word), including security and management. You think this generation today is slacked out. Try the '70's...Smacked Out! Hell, the bus drivers were drivin' drunk and gettin' nothin' more than a slap on the wrist. What a reckless decade. Remember the pic of Perry's smashed 'Vette? I'd say that about sums it up. Let's hope Aerosmith doesn't wind up in a crashed up heap like that. Like Al and some of you have suggested, there's gotta be a way to bow out gracefully!

Anyway, a few years later, June '79, or somethin', I saw 'em in Oakland. Like RFK in D.C. this was another one of Bill Graham's "Monsters of Rock" extravaganzas. This was off "Night in the Ruts". Again, they had to follow an act that just shredded 'em and left 'em bleedin' before they even went on stage...AC/DC off "Highway to Hell".

After 3 encores and lots of pure Oxygen from a tank directly off stage for Angus, our beloved lethargic dinosaur toxic twins (at the ripe ages of 31 and 30, respectively) proceeded to put on one of the most incredibly half-hearted shows I've ever seen.

Again, Whitford had to hold down the fort while Perry, actually had three guitar changes during one song. At the end of the song, Tyler quipped, rather sarcastically, "Let's thank Mr. Perry for playing during that particular number." It went on and on, with more of the quibbling in each others ears during a Whitford lead and Perry even at one point walking off stage for awhile only to reappear.

All the while, as I said, Whitford covered it all off, flawlessly. If you ever wanted to hear what a relatively tight Aerosmith would sound like with only one guitarist a la Zeppelin live, that show would have been it. Granted, it was a little half-hearted but Tyler was actually pretty on, considering his "fragile condition" at the time.

Perry did look great, though, Hugely lapelled light creme colored linen suit (Halston, my guess), no shirt, white scarf, cool lookin' straw fedora, snakeskin cowboy boots (this was the look back then cuz of him). You've seen the pics from that era. Very Studio 54, hahaha!!! Of course, him in his designer duds bein' out gunned by some psuedo-punk rocker in a schoolboy outfit moments before must not have sat too well with him, needless to say.

Perspective, is, tho, these guys have patched it up before, as you have so keenly observed, Gary, and they have rocked out more than not and just created some of the most killer rock and roll ever, as Kari points out, making them perhaps the seminally best U.S. band ever! Here's to them patchin' it up eventually.

Okay, guys, I've got the solution...

Tyler!

Don't disband Aerosmith! Just go on hiatus as Gary suggests.

I've put it all together...

Join up with Jimmy Page! He'll get Jason Bonham! Hell, get Michael Anthony (there's a twist) or someone else if they don't want it to be overly Zeppelinized, though Jones might as well do it. Yeah, what the hell, "Led Aerosmith". Not literally, but you get my drift. Those guys know each other. Page, Bonham, Jones are tight from all that reunion rehearsing. Wouldn't take much to get the cobwebs off.

Plant doesn't want any part of it and has no desire to go after his now elusive high notes anymore and is too busy pursuing his Grammy filled newfound career as a semi-folkster with Alison Kraus.

And Tyler can sing his *ss off.

So, Tyler. So, Page. Supposedly they've both got material for albums. Cobble the stuff together and you've probably got a helluvan album! World Tour! Man, it would be killer!

And Perry could find a singer. Just no Alison Kraus types, please, hahaha!!! Any ideas who he should get, Counsel?

Then Tyler could think about doing a solo record and/or puttin' Aerosmith back together and puttin' out the equivalent of "Rocks II" at the ripe young age of 67!
November 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMetalboy!
If this happens Perry needs to restart the JP Project.
Even in his heroin haze Perrys 1st 2 solo albums had more good jams than anything Aerosmith has done since . He does need to find a better lyricsist though .Even his 3rd record was good with street guys playing backup in someones basement .

Forget Aerosmith without Tyler . Doesn't work .

And please no Whitfield/ St John reunions .
November 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjackleg12@aol.com
Jackleg,

Yeah, and a real vocalist.

But why not a new band with him as sole lead guitarist, a four-piecer a la Satch and Haggar's "Chickenleg"? But, of course, much better.

St. Holmes is a helluva singer. Met him a quite a few times in Maryland a couple of years ago and had several great conversations with him. Great songwriter, too. What was wrong with Whitford/St. Holmes? Geeez, I just got that one comin' to me via Amazon.

And what do you think Tyler should do?
November 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMetalboy!
Read between the "lines" with Tyler...1/2 of the TOXIC TWINS are back, and I don't mean that in a GOOD way either.
November 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSweet Lou
HA!
This is so funny, I love Aerosmith, but you have slagged Oasis so!
November 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLiam
Adam Glambert as the new singer for Aerosmith, sorry, Adamsmith??
November 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenternirVrana
Good one, NirVana!

Thing is, that sounds like it could be headin' for "Rockstar INXS" territory... y'know, that thing that was on CBS, where that dude, J.D. Fortune won the frontman spot for INXS.

Granted, Lambert ain't homeless, like J.D. supposedly was and neither is Aerosmith, tho if you read "Walk This Way", Tyler practically was in NYC for a short time when things got real bad sometime after "Ruts", if my memory serves me correctly. And INXS might as well have been.

It just smacks of young dude joinin' old dude band, y' know.

I know your just kiddin' anyway...

Lambert should get with a killer guitarist. Always thought he should get with that Orianthi chick from Michael Jackson's band. That kid can shred!

The question remains, who should Perry get as a singer for his new supergroup, if he were to form one?

Wonder if he knows Coverdale?, hahaha!!!

Thing is, too, I don't think Joe would ever go for that "Still of the Night" sh*t, which I also happen to get a kick out of, just think it's to slick metal for his tastes...

p.s. Hey, man, where were ya on Pretty Boy Floyd?
November 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMetalboy!
Ok, maybe someone WAS right on this board. This REEKS of someone on crack...

*************recent report************************
AEROSMITH singer Steven Tyler joined THE JOE PERRY PROJECT (the band led by AEROSMITH guitarist Joe Perry) on stage earlier tonight (Tuesday, November 10) at the Fillmore New York at Irving Plaza in New York City to perform the AEROSMITH classic "Walk This Way". According to a BLABBERMOUTH.NET source a the concert, Tyler assured the crowd that — despite rumors to the contrary — he is "not quitting AEROSMITH" before launching into the track, which was originally released as the second single from the band's 1975 album "Toys in the Attic".

OK! magazine reports that Tyler also appeared at last night's (Monday, November 9) 2009 Glamour Women of the Year Awards at Carnegie Hall in New York and was asked about whether he is leaving AEROSMITH. "Does it look like I'm leaving AEROSMITH?" he reportedly replied. "You know what it is — it's those people who are putting out Joe's album. Joe's doing a solo album. So people are paying attention to that."
November 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Insider
Metal boy

I like your thinking on this . A better singer and lyricist and the Perry Project could be really special .
I want to hear Perry playing that raw style again with that hard edge . The way Aerosmith has gone I'm fine with them splitting at this time .

The songs on his 1st 2 albums were kick ass . I was actually glad he left Aerosmith when those came out . Had no idea the turmoil behind the scenes though and thought he would get the requisite talent to go big time with the Project . It was not to be .

Tyler should just go commercial/pop rock all the way . He's good at it and he likes it . He'll sell millions and hardcore rockers will follow Perry .

I was kinda joking about Whitford/St Holmes . I didn't get into them back in the day . Perhaps I should give it another listen .
November 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjackleg12@aol.com
Jackleg & Co,

Jackleg, do you have Whitford/St. Holmes? I actually have it on vinyl in storage 1500 miles away from where I live right now and can't remember it (yikes!), so I just coughed it up on Amazon to pick it up right after you mentioned it in your previous entry last night. Just waitin' to hear it again. Don't really know what to expect.

Man, St. Holmes really didn't get a fair shake. Very talented guy.

If you lived in the Annapolis, Maryland area, you might be able to take guitar and voice lessons from him and he does tour occasionally, mostly in Europe. Once in awhile Terrible Ted let's him sing and play on a couple when the Nuge plays Baltimore or somethin'. He's also a consultant for PRS Guitars, which is based very near there.

Gotta say, he's amazing on those first Nugent records and wrote "Stranglehold" and "Hey, Baby" among others. And that voice...Killer on those records.

As far as Perry is concerned, yeah, you are right. Man, he's gotta find a killer singer. Who the hell is it? I've been rackin' my brain. As incredible as someone like St. Holmes might be, it just seems Perry should wind up with someone more in the Supergroup talent pool... Somebody BIG! It's gotta be somebody who can nail the Aerosmith stuff but that stuff should just be treated to just a small portion of the set, just as the prospective lead singer's stuff would be only mildly showcased.

It's gotta be about whatever a new album would be by a new band. I hear ya on the "Joe Perry Project", but what about a whole new band with a whole new name?

Just like when he threw down the gauntlet with his eternally stunning barnstormer of a song "Let The Music Do The Talkin'" (one of the best album covers of all time, too!), he's gotta live up to that song title, which should be his new credo all over again! I almost feel like that tune is kinda in the same vein as "Draw The Line" or almost anything off "Rocks".

Now if we look at the entire Aerosmith canon, that kind of loose Jam Glam, if you will, hasn't really been over explored, or certainly not by them in the last 23 years, by any means.

Hell, if anyone was kinda pickin' up their baton and runnin' with it, it was their very own label mates at that time, almost out doin' Aerosmith's "rough'n'rockin'" schtick of their glorious and glittery past for 'em while they were out there makin' pop faux rock, you could claim it was G'n'R and Faster Pussycat. Or other label's Rock'n'Roll torch carriers like L.A. Guns, et al... Why the hell didn't Aerosmith jump back into the fray when all these guys were tryin' to make a "Rocks" like record? They all cite it as one of their favorite albums, after all.

It coulda been like the infantry goin' in first so the general's could parade through later, but it never happened. Nope, instead you got, "Crazy", which, hey, though, not my cup of tea, is a flawlessly executed slice of Beatlesque pop, delightful in it's studio perfect repetition, but carefully served with not-too-pumped-up, yet still very buried in the mix, power ballad guitars.

You want a powerballad, folks...

Check out "Season's of Wither" off Get Your Wings, or if you really want the guitars out front, how about "Home Tonight" off Rocks! Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!

I think what really tripped up Aerosmith as far as really scaling the heights beyond simply topping the pop charts, was listening to the likes of that clown John Kolodner (who, btw, plays the groom to Tyler's bride in the video "Dude Looks Like A Lady" -- which, sorry, folks, I think is pure tripe, especially when you hold it up to anything pre "Draw The Line" and half of that album, to boot)!

Look, they topped the charts with b*lls with the likes of "Walk This Way". They didn't need to sand it down and sap it up, the way Kolodner reassured Tyler it was O.K. to do.

I mean, take "Shut Up And Dance", one of the few tunes I like during the "Mr. Softee" years. I once saw a Hair Metal cover band do that at a smallish rock joint in Towson, Maryland that still had the Ratt and Cinderella logos painted on the concrete walls long after they were ever gonna play there again (I remember this because I saw Alvin Lee -- y'know, of Woodstock fame there and saw these logos and others runnin' up and down the walls) and thinkin' this, too.

Anyway, so here's this mid-atlantic region cover band playin' "Shut Up And Dance" like it was on "Toys In The Attic". I'm talkin' b*lls out, crunched up guitars, loud! That's what Aerosmith shoulda sounded like all along, through and through!

So, Kolodner now looks like to me, to be some kind of "pop enabler" to bands like Aerosmith. Y' know, can't ya just hear him on the couch next to the mixing board (like you see him in the "documentary", "The Making of Pump", which really does show you what a genius Tyler is, albeit wasted on that project, if you don't mind me sayin')

Kolodner: "Hey that sounds good, but just turn that rhythm guitar down just a tad more and, Steven, just throw a little more tympani in here... he was an A&R guy a lot of these guys, I now think, thought of as a friend of theirs helping them make a hit record, when actually he was Geffen's friend (and employee) makin' sure the record company was gettin' the edges smoothed down to ensure delivery of nice friendly radio fare from Aerosmith, more trading on the name, than puttin' out something truly ground breaking, which I think they were and still are capable of doing.

Y' know -- Kolodner, the long haired freaky lookin' guy who in all actuality, might as well have been wearin' an Armani suit underneath that get up he had on, kind of a "wolf in sheep's clothing" act, but because of his "midas" touch and yet, bizarre "overly hippyish, one of us" appearance with the wack hair and all, he could make someone even as seemingly shrewd as Tyler feel like it was O.K. to choke all the life and b*lls out of his own music, and thus we get the homogenized sounds of everything post "Done With Mirrors", though it's true, Kolodner was the hired gun, Tyler second guesser on that one, too, I believe... he just knew to hang back and let them hang themselves with that one. The proof the original non-formula coulda worked was their stellar re-working of Perry's "Let The Music Do The Talking" that kicked off that record, if only they didn't listen to Kolodner or the record company and just went about doing what that song espoused from that moment on.

"If only..." (ah, my famous last words, always)...

If only Aerosmith could have just mustered another 9 "Let The Music..."'s to follow that song on "Done With Mirrors", they would be even bigger than "The Greatest American Rock Band Ever" title we all here have pretty much bestowed upon 'em (thanks Kari).

They show it live, just not on record, thanks to Kolodhopper and admittedly the rehab bills stacking up and the desire to get more of the black Samsonite attache cases the record company's delivery boy, Kolodnerd, was probably waving in front of our boys. Do I love this guy, Kolodsmurf, or what? I once saw him comin' out of the Beekman movie theater over on Columbus Ave., (or is that Amsterdam?), on the Upper West Side, where he was trying to hail a cab, walkin' up practically in the middle of the street, some Geffen pseudo-intern hottie waiting patiently at the curb, while I'm zoomin' past in a cab I miraculously hailed by walkin' up practically in the middle of the street.

If only I had spotted him sooner. I woulda stopped, gotten out for him to take my cab, and while he would be brushing past me to climb in, I would gently tug on his jacket sleeve to see if it would break away to reveal the Armani silk sleeve of the jacket that would most likely be the same color as his fat, soft underbelly. And just maybe, just maybe, at that exact moment I could have changed Rock History and Aerosmith would have returned to their ever rockin' roots forever!

Now, maybe Tyler can, if he gets back with 'em and gets down to it!

But while still filleting Kolonder... You'll have to check the oh, too cool (and yet it is kinda cool) credit line he gets on all the albums he's spruced up for the record machine, usually under the producer's credit...

While everyone else has a name and a title...

like...

Producer: Jack Douglas

or...

Guitars: Joe Perry

He has the distinction of being none other than...

John Kolodner: John Kolodner

Guess that's supposed to mean he's playing himself in this movie we call Rock'n'Roll, but now it's obvious he was playin' Aerosmith for fools and worse, us, the record (now CD or iTunes or whatever other clandestine means rules the day) buying public.

So, Tyler and Company, here's how to cure your second mid-life crisis... do something you really haven't done in earnest in 31 years, if not longer...

Put out a real Rock and Roll record!

Put out a new album that kicks *ss and do a video where instead of Tyler marrying Kolodner, he's divorcin' him. Actually, I think they divorced awhile ago, but Tyler forgot to go get his b*lls back off Kolodner's desk in his corner office (you can check out the pics of his offices over at Capitol in Hollywood, then Geffen, and ultimately his own sausage factory back in the day, on Kolodner's site, btw, if it's still up, to see if you can spot Tyler's "Rocks").

Yeah, so that's it, it took me that long to hit on what I could have just said in one sentence rather than torture you, Jackleg, endlessly with my hackneyed loop-di-loops, and anyone else out there in Glitterglamland, if you're still reading.

Tyler and Perry gotta go get their "Rocks" back!

Like they don't know it, with everyone sayin' it for years?

Can't they see the cure?

Maybe get Hamilton to show Steven a riff the way he did with "Sweet Emotion" (thanks, Gary), or "Sick as a Dog"? as he's probably done over the years since where you ignored it, and this time...

Actually listen to it and do something with it!

The Antidote for to end their "Night in the Ruts" they're in today?

So, back on Perry if the Toxic Twins won't be arms around each other, headin' back into the studio anytime soon...

Like you said, Jackleg, Perry's gotta be playin' with a "raw style with that hard edge" ("Rocks").

Tyler, you are right about, too -- but he just might be able to do something really, really phenomenal, if he really applies himself, as well!

Maybe he does really push the total pop/rock route, but if it's him and he really goes for it and is firing on all of his ultra-creative talented pistons, it could just be incredible! Especially if he hired Page to do all the leads on the album, hahaha!!!

I mean, this guy doesn't need to go the Rod Stewart route.

He could write every note, every word, damn near play every instrument, sing every vocal track and just plain blow the world away if he can muster it.

Just please, no duets a la Sinatra!

If things went right, I'd wind up buyin' both Tyler's and Perry's albums, actually.

Then again, if they got it back together, and they went after it the way they did with "Toys" and "Rocks", they could do both hard edged and pop!

If Tyler stays, as The Insider has just reported Tyler said at the JP Project show, Godspeed, but finally please do what everyone here knows is the move...

Damn it, crank it up!

Of all people, because of their popularity, Aerosmith could singlehandedly "Bring Back Glam" once and for all!!!

Man, they may be the Toxic Twins, but they've been drinkin' the record companies' Kool-Aid for way too long. If they approached the next potential Aerosmith album like those two records and delivered, wouldn't everyone just jump all over it even more than any of the AOR fluff they've produced over the last 23 years!

In the words of Tyler, barely audible at the end of the song, "Toys in the Attic", the answer is a resounding...

"YeahYeahYeahYeahYeYeYeow!!!"
November 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMetalboy!
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