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25 Things (about Glam)

Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2009 at 12:01AM by Registered CommenterAllyson B. Crawford | Comments23 Comments

Everyone and her sister has completed "25 Random Things" on Facebook. Everyone, that is, but me. I decided I don't have 25 random facts (about me) that I want to share with the world.

So, let's do 25 random things about Glam. Here's the list compiled by me and my BFF from down under Christian.

01. Poison looked like women until GnR hit big; their next album cover, they looked like GnR.

02. According to Stephen Davis in Watch You Bleed: The Saga of Guns n' Roses, Slash wore a "Poison Sucks" T-shirt in the "Paradise City" video. Remember, Slash also auditioned for Poison.

03. All the bands that say they are glad to be playing small clubs again - are liars.

04. Rocklahoma did not invent the festival concept in America. They did, however, create a great all-Glam event.

05. Def Leppard were not scared of being called "Metal" when it was popular.

06. Vince would have kicked Axl's ass, given the chance.

07. Glam musicians did not do public service announcements about drug use out of the kindness of their hearts.

08. When Vince left Motley, he made a perfect Motley record, but with good solos.

09. When Vince left Motley, the band recorded their strongest effort as a band.

10. The 80s are suddenly cool again - but the diehards know that good music never goes out of style.

11. Internet radio helped put Glam Metal on the map for today's teenagers.

12. The 80s were the classic period for great Metal magazines. True fans still have copies of their favorite Metal mags, archived and stored in tubs "just in case."

13. Mullets were never Glam. They were, however, Billy Ray Cyrus.

14. A flaming codpiece is never a substitute for being able to play or write songs.

15. A lot of bands slag Poison, yet will never be as successful or have as much fun.

16. The Grammy voters hate Glam musicians.

17. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame voters hate Glam musicians.

18. Anyone that says they hate Glam, Hair Metal, Pop Metal or whatever - is a liar. Everyone likes at least one Glam song - even the Death Metal fanatic that sits three desks away from you and is slightly obsessed with fire.

19. Even if your guitarist is not very good, if he (or she) doesn't get to play in the studio, you're not a real band.

20. No matter how many people you've had sex with, boasting about it in interviews just makes us think you don't have a very big penis.

21. Glam bands always do better with a blond singer.

22. Being a reality TV star does hurt your Metal cred.

23. Awesome musician does not always equal great actor. In fact, it rarely does.

24. There's nothing more embarrassing than Glam bands releasing grunge albums and saying how much they hated using hair spray in the 80s.

25. Serious note here: Steven Adler is reliving his youth every day and killing himself. It's no longer very Glam to go out via a drug overdose.

Reader Comments (23)

I agree with #13: There were a dearth of mullets in metal generally and glam specifically. You can't tease your hair to the sky with a mullet lol That was a bogus stereotype perpetrated by '90s alt-rock geeks (no offense lol) to further put down '80s rock/metal. Why couldn't they just let their favorite music live on its own merits (maybe because it had none to speak of... nah, some of it did). And the irony of their claim was that the mullet was much more prevalent in '80s alt-rock.

I disagree with #19: Studio time, especially back in the day, was extremely expensive and albums had to meet a label deadline. There was plenty of time for a guitarist to learn a part after an album was completed for live gigs. According to one of the managers of The Rolling Stones on a credible documentary about said band on BBC America, The Stones, Beatles, Clapton and other giants also had to use studio guitarists.
February 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAccording_to_topher
Hey - #19 was one of mine, and I was thinking of KISS, where Ace was constantly not allowed to play on the records. But, I do disagree in general - if it's a band, then that means what you hear, is what the band came up with, not parts you paid someone for and have to work out for the tour. Witness the death of Twisted Sister after Dee's solo CD was released as a Twisted effort, and when they toured, the band didn't know the songs. They were basically played by Winger with Dee on vocals.
February 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristian
I totally agree with #09. The Motley album with JC on vocals is easily their best, however that being said, it wasn't Motley. The band should have changed their name...
February 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJF
i agree bout vince kicking axls ass haha.
and
#15!
Poison rock and are successful and had more than any band save motley.

and 16 17 is so unfair but oh well we know Motley shoulda won!
February 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMotleyCrue666
oh yeah #5 is gay since def leppard just wants to be "popular" and #2 its all image thats why slash wore that shirt.
and r u dissing poison in #1?
February 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMotleyCrue666
When did Poison ever look like GnR?
February 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenteraXe mAn
Number 1 is one of Christian's. I think he means that Poison looked "tougher" the albums past their debut.

He's right.

- Allyson.
February 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAllyson
great list.
February 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterred6ixx
Oh, fucking great list. I've commented cause that's. Just. What. I . Do.

01. Poison looked like women until GnR hit big; their next album cover, they looked like GnR.
"But, Rikki, I don't NEED hairspray if I wear a bandana!"

03. All the bands that say they are glad to be playing small clubs again - are liars.
Big, FAT, fucking liars. Clubs are only cool on your way up. Not on your way down or because that's the only place that will book you. Especially if you only have one original member in the band in said club.

05. Def Leppard were not scared of being called "Metal" when it was popular.
Or, evidently, wearing a mullet on the cover of Hit Parader.

06. Vince would have kicked Axl's ass, given the chance.
Oh, you bet your ass he would have. Axl was and is a pussy. And crazy.

07. Glam musicians did not do public service announcements about drug use out of the kindness of their hearts.
Wait - No WAY!

09. When Vince left Motley, the band recorded their strongest effort as a band.
Yep. But I agree, they should have changed their name.

13. Mullets were never Glam. They were, however, Billy Ray Cyrus.
And Billy Ray Cyrus was never glam. Or cool for that matter. He needs to cut his hair now and shave off that stupid soul patch. He's even less hip now then when he had an "Achy Breaky Heart."

14. A flaming codpiece is never a substitute for being able to play or write songs.
No, but it does make for a good conversation starter.

17. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame voters hate Glam musicians.
Which is just another point showing RR Hall of Fame's lack of relevance.

18. Anyone that says they hate Glam, Hair Metal, Pop Metal or whatever - is a liar. Everyone likes at least one Glam song - even the Death Metal fanatic that sits three desks away from you and is slightly obsessed with fire.
BINGO!!

19. Even if your guitarist is not very good, if he (or she) doesn't get to play in the studio, you're not a real band.
I'm sorry but this is true. Deadlines, pricetag for studo time or whatever, you don't hire studio players for an album and call it a band.

20. No matter how many people you've had sex with, boasting about it in interviews just makes us think you don't have a very big penis.
Note to self: stop bragging about sex in interviews... THEY KNOW!!

21. Glam bands always do better with a blond singer.
HEAR, HEAR!!! I concur!

24. There's nothing more embarrassing than Glam bands releasing grunge albums and saying how much they hated using hair spray in the 80s.
Or as stupid. Or lame. Or just dumb. What's the matter, run out of Aqua net?

25. Serious note here: Steven Adler is reliving his youth every day and killing himself. It's no longer very Glam to go out via a drug overdose.
Steven Adler is not glam or a rock star. He's a fucking junkie and one day we'll see he's dead and say we saw it coming.

Ok. I'll shut up now.
February 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterValentine
06-Hell yes he would.Axl's insane, but that doesnt make him a good fighter.

08- Im not sure. I didnt like Vinces solo work much.
09-Yeah I agree that album is very very good, but as alot of people have said, it wasnt motley, and I didnt like alot of the songs on there.

But overall awesome post :)
February 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLucifer
The Axl vs. Vince thing can be debated about forever. I don't care actually. But I think the reason the fight never took place is because that the loser would totally lose face and credit. Not worth the risk. They both knew that, then they can act how tough the want in interviews and books.

But thats is only what I think.
February 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMartin
I think the only anti drug PSA I ever saw that looked sort of legit was done by Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols. As the genius comedian Sam Kinison explained, musicians who did anti drug PSAs did so because they got caught doing drugs, "don't get caught doing drugs or you'll have to do a public service announcement just like this one."

And you're dead on about #18. In the 80s I was, and still am, obsessed with thrash metal. I couldn't stand most hair metal bands at the time, but I still loved Quiet riot and Motley Crue.
February 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBob
Theres plenty of GREAT glam singers who arent blonde. Sebastian Bach, Mark Slaughter, Jon Bon Jovi, Phil Lewis, Joe Leste.... The list goes on and on. That makes your list flawed.
February 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKenny Crawford
Sebastian Bach isn't blonde?
February 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterr0ck0n
Kip Winger once dyed his hair red, and I thought for years it was his natural hair color & he dyed it black! :) Also, isn't JBJ what we call a 'dirty blond' (Blond with brown)--which I agree, that kinda throws that theory off.
February 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChessie >^..^<
Hey, #12 is ME!! haha! I'm 38 and still have a bunch of Metal Edge and Circus magazines stored in a big Rubbermaid tub! Also when I was a kid I had my room plastered with Motley Crue pictures ...you couldn't even see the wall! When I eventually took it all down i couldn't bring myself to throw them out ...they're all in the tub too! lol!!
February 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMike
Hey Mike. I am 40 next week, and my office and my music room are covering in posters, and I have had a set of drawers built to house my Circus/Metal Edge/Guitar School/Guitar World/GFTPM mags. Except the posters those are on the walls. I did a family trip to the US and the best thing I bought, was a Hysteria poster. I've never seen one for sale before, it's laminated and up in the music room.
February 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristian
Few points missed:

Brett Michaels, Bon Jovi and Kip Winger = stupid. Keep writing/singing about love yet cannot stick to one woman.

Billy Ray Cyrus and Kip Winger are cousins.

The Kings of Glam Metal are Motley Crue which is why they remain timeless.
February 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter???
so you weren't a "true" fan if you didn't keep your magazines? everyone has completed 25 random things? and everyone lies if they say they don't like glam, metal, etc? really? news to me. guess i'm not a true fan since i didn't keep my magazines but if i had i'd have to have a whole room dedicated to them. i'm lucky to have a closet for my old stuff. i don't even have a facebook acct much less thought about completing a survey on there and i've actually known a few people who did not like metal at all.
February 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdon
hey in the one about vinces solo effort what do u mean good solos? They may have been fasster and better tricks but Micks solos were the best and fit the crue sound better than any other guitarist around!
February 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermotleycrue666

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