If Glamster and Hipster Collide

In case any of you are sitting around with bated breath wondering if I'm done with the distractions of my writer's conference, rest easy. The event ended last night and I can now return to the uber-serious world of bringing back glam. That said, I've had a fabulous idea I may be asking you for help with soon, so please stay tuned. You're going to want to be included in my evil (ok, awesome) plot.

That aside, I was thinking about hipsters last night. Mainly because I went to a bookstore after leaving the conference in search of a certain text. Of course, the store didn't have what I wanted but that didn't stop Barnes & Noble from separating me from my $12. Nope. While gazing the shelves, I found perhaps the best book ever written: Look At This F*cking Hipster. Now, the book came from the blog of the same name. I know the blog's been around awhile, but I never paid it much attention. In southern Ohio, we don't have a whole lot of hipsters. The ones we do have are usually part of our local music scene (or college fratboys). Hence my train of thought.

As I was literally crying with hysteria while looking through this book, I couldn't help feel the lightning bolt of fear rush through me: "Are Glam musicians turning hipster?"

I mean, I literally shuddered.

Again, my experience with all things hipster is quite limited. I've only been through Brooklyn once and that was in a car and we didn't stop (I was going to Manhattan). Again, no real Brooklyn-type areas in Ohio but Joe Mande, the author of Look At This F*cking Hipster, assures me most hipsters live in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. "My AOL editor lives there," was my first thought.

I hope I don't get fired for writing that.

So anyway, all the hipster photos feature people wearing these crazy tight jeans and nutty scarves. Well, glam musicians do like tight pants and scarves...but it's different. It's perfectly correct to collect and wear Steven Tyler-like scarves and tight leather pants. It is not good to wear a pastel colored scarf around one's neck like a train conductor with pencil-slim jeans. You know what I mean.

But bringing back glam means bringing back relevancy and I fear the day I see Joe Leste or Mark Slaughter rocking out wearing an Animal Collective T-shirt. I don't know what it would mean to find a Glam hipster, but I bet some seismic universal shift would certainly occur. Think a big hair - meets eyeliner - meets tight pants - hookah rebellion or something. I think we can all agree we don't want that.

Oh, and basically the entire point of this post was to get you to read the "Look At This F*cking Hipster" blog. My apologies for the salty title. Mande has a potty mouth.