Fourth Place In A Two Man Race: The (Odd) Tale of Mitch Malloy

Today's post is from our friend HIM. 

People on here know: I am a David Lee Roth fanboy, tried and true. Cringe-inducing missteps? Yessir. Sweat-destroyed hair plugs? You gotta’ do what you gotta’ do. Choked-chicken vocals? It happens. But the man’s got a presence, even when the very presence of him on stage leads some to apoplectic fits.

 

The flip side is obvious: I loathe the Hagar era Van Halen. It sounds soupy, syrupy, and cheesy (no small hat-trick for a band known to rub the shinola on a bit thick even in their heyday). But it just felt wrong, even as it made the band more popular. While I can grudgingly offer up some faint wisps of praise for Hagar as a solo and/or otherwise attached artist, I still choke back bile when people claim “Bad Motor Scooter” is a good song (with apologies to dearly departed Montrose). I mean, really? That is the image you want to put out there?

 

And thus begins the tale of Mitch Malloy; a tale that seems—as of late—to have again sprouted “what if” roots. His tale is a middling one, pocked with near misses and close hits and solo tours (one of which is occurring as we speak). I have no axe to grind with Malloy. He seems to be a man at peace, making music and touring the world. All the best to him. He sounds, unlike Van Halen, stable.

 

But in that tiny window of time that was 1996, something was almost possible: a version of Van Halen that didn’t suck . . . and didn’t involve the two front men who had carried the torch amidst decades of rancor, drugs, back-stabbing, and general kowtowing to the man (and/or men) who gave the band its name.

 

Malloy certainly had the look. He seemed to be a Rothgar lovechild. Tall and handsome, but with some features that spoke to a Cabo Wabo-inclined fan base. He also had the ability to carry on the Van Hagar sound without sounding exactly like Hagar (given that succession is an issue for kings, and for bands):

 

Even then, he hinted at an ability (if in demo form) to go back to once was and make it all seem fine:

 

 

Again, what if? Well, we know the story. Van Halen decided it was a good thing to trot out DLR on MTV (high-waisted pants and all) and tease older fans. That spooked Malloy (according to Malloy) and he was off on his own personal journey. What resulted was One Non-Blonde: the disastrous Gary Cherone fronted Van Halen III. The album and tour both got an unequivocal (if slightly over-played) response: NO MACH III! Which then led to all sorts of things that people who love and loathe Van Halen know about.

 

What does the future of Van Halen hold? Who knows at this point? DLR retaining the seat? Hagar and Halen(s) kissing and making up? Patti Smyth finally getting her shot? But the past does offer a tantalizing suggestion of a different route the band could have taken. Would the fans have approved? No one knows.