You Can't Make This Up - Bret Michaels Style

Here's one for the "you can't make this up" file: Bret Michaels has his own cologne now. Called Roses & Thorns, Bret is selling the scent on his website for $60 bucks a bottle. What's more, he created the craziest, cheekiest, most ridiculous promo video for the stuff, too. I'll be honest, when I watched the commercial (or whatever it is) I laughed really hard for a really long time. I mean, we're talking theatre of the absurd here, people. At some point, we have to ask ourselves "Is this real life?" First Phil Lewis debuts some perfume, now Bret has his own scent. I think these guys are running out of things to monetize.

If you want a bottle of the perfume, you can pre-order. No word when the scent officially hits the streets.

Comments

[Dj]

Looks like his breakup song got him a long ways. A number one hit and further down the line roses and thorns clothes and cologne. Ughhhh, i'll take Poison any day of the week as long as Bret isnt trying to brand them off as Kiss or something along those lines......

[Brian C.]

Well, that was, ummm.....embarrassing.

[Brian L]

Ouch

[Metalboy!]

Made by and for idiots!

Still, I must admit it is amusing. Just doesn't need the redundant female VoiceOver that bookends the video.

[fletch]

not idiots metalboy...simply, dumbasses; through and through

cathy was embarressed over rock of love. I can't even let her see this. where are my parental lock controls.

[Ace Steele]

Could be worse... He could try to sing. This is just dumb.

[bkallday]

The only thing worse is Poison's live shows, these days. They don't rock anymore, they're basically a bluegrass, wanna be southern rock band.

[bkallday]

The only thing worse is Poison's live shows, these days. They don't rock anymore, they're basically a bluegrass, wanna be southern rock band.

[Metalboy!]

Uh... Hold on there, BK. Though I admit it's stupid Michaels wants dumba*s covers in the set list like "American Band" and "What I Like About You"

They could be doing originals like "I Want Action" or "Cry Tough", but Michaels is too oblivious to realize Poison doesn't need to do covers. It's hilarious to think he is clueless to the fact Poison's above all that.

For all his ego, Michaels sadly underestimates the value of Poison.

However, when it comes to his solo stuff, no matter what he does, it's a complete and utter travesty he's too blind to see.

[florentine]

I think it's a cool commercial. I think most people who have already commented are unfair towards Brett. Let him do what he wants he obviously doesn't NEED more money or fame. he's Brett Michaels

[oper8n]

I actually thought it was kind of tongue-in-cheek funny. Poison's live shows are still worth seeing. I try to catch all the what are now classic rock acts when they come around the area. Except Journey.

[hlbetz]

I'm not gonna get that 2 minutes and 54 seconds back, am I? WTF??

[Brian Esperes]

I think most everybody is missing the point. It was supposed to be cheesy. I thinks its cool for what it is. I've never seen a enjoyable cologne commercial ever. I'd rather watch this then the million other ones I've seen in my lifetime.

Seems pretty obvious to me that Bret doesn't really care about poison anymore. He just does it for the paycheck from the tours.'Hollyweird' came out 11 years ago and the 'Poison'd' cover CD came out 6 years ago.

Bret has written more than enough songs in that time. That he could have fine tuned with C.C, Rikki and Bobby to make a couple of new Poison CD's. Bret could care less if Poison ever came out with another new CD. They should at least put a CD out of rare and unreleased stuff.

[Him]

In answer to the implied question: it will first "hit the streets" when someone makes the mistake of buying it, takes a whiff, and then drops it. But the tie-ins are intriguing: a "Scent of Desperation" tour with Lewis?!!?

This form of cheese is right in his wheelhouse these days. It makes him money, keeps his brand out there, and doesn't risk a split of profits with anyone else other that those who concocted the stuff. In a house, on a dog, in a bus . . . buy my musk!

And that gets at the roses and thorns in a couple of the other well-tuned posts: if his brand suffers, back to Poison. If it doesn't, the occasional summer shed and festival when the mood strikes. Besides, the others have things to keep them occupied. Sure, they aim for a lower profile horizon. But LSD is an affliction that transcends the stage and has made many a person shrug while the singer made his way to the bank (or at least a semi-respected regional credit union).

A few months back I accidentally offended a great poster on here by making light of his target demographic. And, even though this is a scent for men, it firmly fits in with those who hang out with, and buy needless stuff, for them. So as branded promotion, it is a smart move.

But what do I know? I am sipping Maiden lager (AC/DC Cab is a bit too cloying), while listening to music on my Motor-headphones (Beats trend too urban for me), after gingerly picking through a plate of wings slathered in Anthony's hot sauce (I find Pearcy's a bit too boughie).

Besides, I still have a case of Drakkar to get through. Never forget to anticipate a shortage of the good stuff. Stock up!

[fletch]

continuing with the theme of 'you can't make this up", coming to my PA neck of the woods:

charlie daniels, bret michaels, marshall tucker band. But, I am thinking about going and taking my sons with me.

http://mohegansunarenapa.com/eventdetails.aspx?eid=775

[Devon]

Him, were you drunk when you left that nonsensical post.
What a bizarre and desperate attempt at humor. You were trying way too hard to come off as hip or cool.

[Jakki Steal]

Seeing a Bret Michaels solo concert really isn't as bad as people pretend it to be.
Here is a recent setlist:
Talk Dirty to Me
(Poison song)
Look What the Cat Dragged In
(Poison song)
Sweet Home Alabama
(Lynyrd Skynyrd cover)
Your Mama Don't Dance
(Loggins & Messina cover)
Go That Far
(Solo song)
Something to Believe In
(Poison song)
Unskinny Bop
(Poison song)
What I Got
(Sublime cover)
Every Rose Has Its Thorn
(Poison song)
Fallen Angel
(Poison song)
Encore:
Nothin' But a Good Time
(Poison song)

[Him]

I am so sorry Devon. I will try to do better next time. But my comments were on topic nonetheless.

[fletch]

Him: I enjoyed your comments, especially lsd transcending the stage, and me thinks that I still have quarter-filled bottles of drakkar, obsession and polo somewhere deep within the confines of my bathroom closet.

[Devon]

I know your response was sarcastic but it just seemed like odd rambling to me. Were you just making stuff up or are these real things. I don't tend to pay much attention to odd rock star related products. I'm not mad at ya, I just had no idea what you were talking about. Perhaps it T'was hilarious?