Some Rambling Will Do

So I'm tired. Like, fall-on-your-face sort of tired. I'm not sure why I'm so tired, other than my chair at work sucks and my job is probably conspiring to kill me and I do tend to work until 1 a.m. or later every day of the week...so yeah, I'm tired.

Anyway, I sort of feel crazy. Like you get tired and wound up and your mind is racing and bingo = crazy! Whee! Welcome to crazy town, population me and suddenly it dawns on me "Shit, I need to write something palatable for my readers in like, 12 seconds."

So Adam Lambert and Kris Allen to finals of American Idol! Woo! How about that, kids? Adam, for the win! Very excited to see Kris beat Danny Gokey at his own holier-than-thou ways. I don't mind religious folk, but it's not very Christian to rub religion in someone's face, is it? Hell, maybe it is - the Glam mistress isn't exactly the religious type.

Here's something random: I get about a million emails everyday and my fab editor over at AOL happened to drop me a line and mentioned something about the band "I Wrestled A Bear Once" [the words are really squished together]. Who the hell names a band "IWrestledABearOnce?" What is METAL (or nu metal, or alternative, or punk or whateva) about that name? It's so funny, I said it out loud at work, my coworkers laughed = smiles all around. That band name got me almost as many smiles as when I debuted my Dictionary of Corporate Bullshit calendar. Almost. For real, 365 bullshit terms, all developed by Fortune 500 minions. Sometimes I skip ahead in the calendar and laugh wickedly knowing that I get the truth behind such bullshit terms as "action items" and "Power Point."

The good thing about the corporate bullshit (real stuff, not the calendar now) is that I tend to block it all out with my iPod. These days, I've got a lovely rotation of Mr. Lambert (also known as the future Mr. Glam Mistress), some *very* early Avenged Sevenfold, a ton of Slipknot and Aerosmith for when the shit inevitably hits the fan.

Speaking of shit hitting the fan - oh Glam! Rock on the Range is this weekend and I do hope you'll follow me on Twitter. Anyway, I have a whirlwind schedule: will be seeing a college roommate Friday night, grabbing Heather and Christian at the airport, festivaling (is that a word?) and then high tailing it back to work because I have  global webcast at like 8 Monday morning. Yeah, I'm going to die Glam readers, but I'll cover ever glorious moment of Rock on the Range for you here and over at Noisecreep because we're tight.

I swear I'm not on acid. Damn, I'm tired.

...and just because it's AMAZING, here's the studio version of Adam Lambert singing Aerosmith's "Cryin.'"

So The Bulletboys Have a New Album On the Way...

This might be the best press release of all time. I've bolded my favorite parts and added some commentary.  Thank Glam for cheap amusement.

Via Blabbermouth:

BULLETBOYS new release titled 10c Billionaire (pronounced 10cent Billionaire) [Allyson insert: who picks an album title so complicated it requires explanation?] has been finally finished! Mixed and mastered by Brent Woods (Vince Neil, Wildside) put the finishing touches on the project this week and has delivered a sonically superb new rock masterpiece. [Allyson insert: is it me, or do we use the word "masterpiece" way too freely these days?]

Years in the making, 10c Billionaire was written by original founding member Marq Torien. The flamboyant frontman has reinvented the band catapulting the BULLETBOYS to a new rock n roll force majeure [Allyson insert: seriously?!] that is fresh sounding and very relevant in today's music scene. The first single "Road To Nowhere" has already been released and is now airing at many rock stations across the U.S. [Allyson insert: students! passive voice is not your friend!]

The Bulletboys will be heading out in July with Faster Pussycat on a U.S. nationwide tour in support of 10c Billionaire. Dubbed Dias de Los Muerto Tour 2009 [Allyson insert: the day of the dead? Why?]  featuring Bulletboys and Faster Pussycat, both bands have paired up for a tour extraordinaire! Dates will be announced in the coming weeks.

More information will be revealed shortly regarding the release and tour. Stay tuned!!

Now, let me be clear: I love the Bulletboys (and Faster Pussycat!) and I want this new album, but sometimes, you've just gotta laugh. "New rock n' roll force majeure" is almost forum signature worthy.

'American Idol:' The Top Three - Vote for Adam Tonight!

It's Tuesday and that means American Idol performance night. Don't worry AI haters, there's just a few days left of the show this season.

Adam Lambert, Danny Gokey and Kris Allen are left. Obviously, you all know where I stand: Adam deserves to win! I could care less about the other two, but Adam is the most deserving and talented singer in the competition's history. He needs your votes tonight.

This season, the top three will perform two songs each. A judge's choice and personal pick. It seems Adam will either be singing U2 or Chris Isaak as the judge's choice - his personal pick is still a mystery, although I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a Glam power ballad! It's time for Adam to end the competition now, rock it out and move on to a long and happy career - but - all you Americans need to vote for him!

Call 1-866-436-5703 to vote starting at 9pm ET.

Don't split votes! Adam Lambert will bring back glam!

Update on Tuesday, May 12, 2009 at 07:04PM by Allyson B. Crawford

*SPOILERS*

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Adam is apparently singing "One" by U2 and "Cryin'" by Aerosmith. The Glam mistress may faint...

Motley Crue Will Guest Star on 'Bones' This Week

This is pretty cool. Motley Crue will perform "Dr. Feelgood" on Bones. The show airs this Thursday, May 14 at 8pm ET on FOX.

Nikki and Vince look really cute and happy in the clip below. Click to watch!

Sellout: Definition Needed

So the past few days I've been pondering the curious case of "selling out."

I've decided no one knows what the term means and therefore, the saying must be completely irrelevant.

When word broke that Slash was doing American Idol, everyone in Metal world shared a collective gasp and went into "sky is falling" mode. Oh my Glam! Could it be! An original Gunner doing a crap show like American Idol? Blasphemy.

The crap show, by the way, is about the highest rated program on television, so clearly Slash made a horrible decision. I mean, how dare he promote his new solo record on a platform that would reach 100 million people? What a moron.

Apparently it's worse if you actually watch Idol and are a music fan. I mean, clearly, if you do that = sell out. How dare Americans (and people all over the world for that matter) want some happy, music entertainment in the evening? How dare millions of people think (know) Adam Lambert can sing just as well as or better than Axl Rose? I mean, it would be far better for young Adam to toil in obscurity than be discovered on American Idol because that show is selling out.

Liking modern Metal is a sure sign of selling out - but only if those bands are on a major label and don't list Motley Crue as their first and main influence. It's ok to like Dirty Penny because they dream to be Motley but they are certainly not. It's ok to like Black Tide because Iron Maiden are their heroes. It's ok to like Freakshow because that band features members of classic Glam bands. Pay attention now: it is not ok to like Avenged Sevenfold or Slipknot because the lyrics are not 100% melodic. It is not ok to like bands that have beaten the digital age and sold enough units to go platinum. It is not ok to get in the pit and rock to one of these new bands because this support is somehow hurting Styx and Queensryche and therefore = sell out.

Let's see. I'm pretty sure if you shop at Hot Topic (or Torrid) you are a giant sell out because it's not ok to like band T-shirts that are not officially vintage. You also can't go to Hot Topic to buy Manic Panic for your hair, but it's ok if you find the dye at any other store. I cannot emphasize how much of a travesty it would be to support a chain that Fortune magazine called one of the best places in America to work. I mean, I know I would hate to have the title VP of Music for Hot Topic. Hell, if I ever landed that job I'd probably just slit my wrists. Talk about selling out.

See a theme here? I'm not sure selling out exists anymore. Does success = selling out? I don't think so. How can we begrudge anyone happiness or success? When I start writing for Rolling Stone, I hope I'm called a sell out. I'd wear that "insult" like a badge of honor.

Atreyu Does Bon Jovi = Epic Win

Glam on Glam, readers!

So, the other day a few of you happened to mention that Atreyu suck. They are playing this coming weekend (!) at Rock on the Range. I have some of their stuff; I don't hate or like them enough to really have an opinion one way or the other BUT...they did make an awesome cover of "You Give Love a Band Name." The song is featured on the limited edition version of the 2004 release, The Curse and soundtrack to Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

Yeah, Atreyu does Bon Jovi...screamo style. 

Before you freak out, flip cars, riot in the streets - just read. This modernized, screamo version of "You Give Love a Bad Name" is great for Bon Jovi and Glam. Why? Because it gives our music modern relevance. Sure, Bon Jovi doesn't need any more cash. Hell, Jon's great-great grandkids will be living off the "Bad Medicine" residuals, and yet...it's important these sort of covers exist.

Atreyu definitely put their own spin on "You Give Love a Bad Name" but the most crucial parts of the song are left intact. You know, the guitar solos and the big, harmonic chorus. What does this mean? It means Atreyu must be Bon Jovi fans and appreciate the song structure by the New Jersey Glam gods.

Click and listen. I'm sure all the comments will be negative, but whatever. It's 2009 and it's time some new bands bring back Glam any way they can. I hope Atreyu play this song next weekend. I guarantee every single person in the crowd will sing along. Every.single.one.of.us.

It's Saturday! It's Shinedown! It's 'The Sound of Madness!'

Shinedown just released their new video for "The Sound of Madness." The song is from the album of the same name. As you can tell, the tune is epic. If you don't own The Sound of Madness, go buy a copy. It's an amazing album.