'Heavy Metal Movies' -- Book Review
Thursday, June 12, 2014 at 12:01AM 
Today's post courtesy of commentor HIM.
Book Review: Mike McPadden, Heavy Metal Movies: Guitar Barbarians, Mutant Bimbos & Cult Zombies Amok in the 666 Most Ear- and Eye-Ripping Big-Scream Films Ever! Brooklyn: Bazillion Points, 2014. $34.95. Paperback.
With a title like that, you recognize several things right away. McPadden’s book isn’t for the love ballad set. The target demographic isn’t the ladies of rock n’ roll, but the men that love and lust after them. You aren’t going to find references to Bereford’s Driving Miss Daisy (1989) in his tome. You will, however, get Damiano’s The Devil in Miss Jones (1973). The tone is East Coast brash and West Coast sleazy, deep digging and dirty deeds, lucid and lurid in equal (often hilarious) doses. Heavy Metal Movies embodies all that is great and cringe-inducing about the near seamless mix, in theory and often in practice, of metal and movies. I mean that as a compliment.
McPadden’s bonafides are clearly established, and a bit blue (if you know what I mean). He is the mind behind the nude celeb website Mr. Skin, a former editor at Hustler, and a freelance writer whose work has appeared in publications like Esquire. Again, at this point, you should know if this book will speak (or scream) at you, if you will find the ride great or grating. That said, McPadden is a clear fan of the two most important parts of the title: Metal and Movies. As he states:
I discovered heavy metal and movies to be two byways of a single continuum. Each stream led to uncharted, unpredictable, unlimited oceans of experience and expression and elation.
Heavy Metal Movies more than justifies his thesis. McPadden put a lot of time and passion into assembling a dizzying array of snapshots. It is also a gorgeous book, with a quality full-color, partially glossy, cover/back-cover. Inside, there are numerous black-and-white reprints of movie posters, and a truly brilliant all-color section featuring more of the same. The layout is crisp, the font is easy to read, and headings and sub-headings have a suitably metal style to them. Like the tone, this isn’t a dull book to look at.
The main part of the book is divided thusly: an introduction explaining McPadden’s interest in heavy metal movies; a brief interview with Alice Cooper about his experience with movies and music; over 500 pages of movies, listed “Aye to Zee,” with some brief and some lengthy—but all colorful—abstracts/reviews. These sections are followed by two appendices: “The Unfit Fifteen, Metal Moments in Non-Metal Movies” and “TV Casualties, Notable Headbanging on the Small Screen.”
Before you even get to those pages, though, McPadden slips in an important list: “The Key to the Curse of the Oath of Heavy Metal Movies.” Containing nearly thirty criteria that merit/justify the inclusion of a movie, the list is as expected (soundtracks, concert performances, musicians in speaking roles) as it is at times seemingly tangential (psycho ‘Nam vets?? Goth Chicks?!!?). Then again, movies and metal aren’t Russell and Whitehead’s Principia Mathematica (1910-13). And thank Slayer for that.
Beyond the hints above, what sorts of films are featured in Heavy Metal Movies? You name it. B- and C-grade popcorn features, documentaries, musicals, Hollywood blockbusters, classics, contemporary (up to this year) releases, and porn (recall his credentials). McPadden includes movies he doesn’t like and ones I have a hard time figuring out. For every artistic short-lister (Bruñuel’s Un Chien Andalou, 1929) there is a dog’s dinner (Stanton’s John Carter, 2013). Only in the manic world of McPadden can Heyn and Krulick’s brilliant Heavy Metal Parking Lot (1986) get mentioned within pages of Jackson’s “I am so drunk I will watch this with one eye closed” Hell Comes to Frogtown (1987).
The continuum McPadden sets up can deliver a delightful jolt or two. He shocked me back into my past, to a time when Tower Records handed out scroll-length calendars each year and had a dedicated section for metal music and accessories. That sweet spot in the past, from the mid-70s through the late-80s, when Priest’s “Living after Midnight” (1980) just meant . . . well, that you liked to stay up late like KISS told you to do. I can still recall watching the videos for Lynch’s Eraserhead (1977), Fulci’s Zombi/Zombie 2 (1979), Davenport’s Xtro (1983), and Gordon’s From Beyond (1986, pictured but sadly not discussed). I hadn’t thought about several of those movies in years. McPadden’s mojo must have been working though: tonally, for me at least, those movies are as metal as an umlaut, visual bombast that stands alongside the musical mayhem on Motörhead’s No Sleep til’ Hammersmith or Crüe’s Too Fast for Love (both 1981).
Even so, McPadden’s “wide net” approach leads to all sorts of questions. Are Woodstock (1970) and Cream: Strange Brew (1991) more metal than Pam and Tommy Lee: Stolen Honeymoon (1998)? Are Deep Throat (1972) and 1984 (1984) really that metal? If you include Bava’s Black Sabbath (1963) on account of obvious inspiration, why not include Lang’s Metropolis (1929) as well? If a number of documentaries featuring Iron Maiden are included, why not add the television show/mid-60s mind-bender The Prisoner? After all, it inspired one of their stronger, more straight-ahead, songs. I know the answer to the last one: it is an inspiration, and not a moment. So it falls outside the borders of a rather wide-ranging book and the short aforementioned television appendix. But Gidget (1966)?? The Paul Lynde Halloween Special (1976)?!!?
Here’s the thing: this is his list, not mine. These are his passions, and many of them turn out to be mine too. Not all of them, granted. But quite a lot of them. That doesn’t distract from the book or its pleasures. In fact, a book like this starts more conversations than it ends. It belongs in a place designed for high-traffic and constant reference. Dare a friend to pick the book up and open to any page. There is a discussion, or debate, or fight to be had. That’s a strength of Heavy Metal Movies. McPadden’s book doesn’t belong on a shelf. Like metal and movies, you need to experience it.
I, for one, can’t wait for Heavy Metal Movies II. But, please, no more Gidget.
Currently on sale at the Bazillion Points website (bazillionpoints.com) for $24.95, with limited edition “sewn patch, and exclusive barf bag.”
Reader Comments (7)
For some reason, it reminds me of a story of when I was suspended in 7th grade for calling a nun a 'bitch'. Mind you, I did not call her one to her, but instead, after I got in trouble for something silly, I called her one under my breath in the hallway. Three 'popular' girls told on me and shall we say in heavy metal terms, "all hell broke loose" thereafter.
These girls often used foul language themselves and I even tried to use that as a defense to sister marie and sister Catherine, that what I said really wasn't "that bad" and that most of the kids talk that way on the playground. They weren't hearing any of it. This was their first year at my elementary school and an example they were going to make of me. sound familiar to anyone???
The result: Three days suspension, an all day Saturday detention at the convent doing work, exclusion from the classroom for 2 weeks while I did all my schoolwork in the hallway and dragged (literally) by the scruff of my neck to the confessional where a priest was summoned and I was made to give confession.
BTW, while in the confessional, I told father McManus that I was not sorry, that sister marie is the meanest lady I ever met who should not be allowed around children and that her favorite students are among the biggest phonies in the school. He gave me absolution nonetheless, and said when I feel sorry (whenever that happens), the forgiveness will take place. Um, what didn't father McManus get?
I can't make this shit up, if I tried. Heck, it could be included in McPadden's next book about catholic schooling meeting hard rock, entitled, "rebellion" or maybe "paroled", perhaps even "fuck you, too"...who knows?. Among the movies to include would be the quintessential coming of age movie, "Heaven Help Us" starring young Kevin Dillon and Patrick Dempsey.
Anyway, I am reminded of sister Catherine's lecture (she was the new principal at our school and she brought sister marie with her). Her lecture was entitled: "Simple minds use simple language".
Over the years, I've thought about her lectures and what she was trying to instill in us (all of us) and I bought into it completely. Until, however, I realized that when one is dealing with simple mindsets, one must use simple language. hence, I've thrown out words here that honestly, even make me cringe sometimes. Hell, mb, wants to castrate me sometimes. well, maybe not. mb is *not* an IHM nun. (I'm pretty sure).
Anyway, when one goes against the grain, goes against ones teachings, goes against the fundamental ingrained philosophy in which one was indoctrinated and decides (whether consciously or not)to do things a little (and then a lot) differently, there isn't much, if any, support. Hence, a lot of McPadden's movies on this list were never mainstream, nor were many of the bands we enjoy. When they became mainstream (on Mtv), it's because they toned it down, not because they were treading new ground. When they treaded new ground, Mtv banned them (WASP, Andrew Dice Clay, Motley Crue). Filthy and shocking? perhaps. Anything we couldn't handle? no! yes, there must be limits and acceptable standards, but let's not be hypocrites. Yes, I am talking about my hypocritical schoolmates who "turned me in" for uttering "bitch" under my breath on the playground. I really didn't even think anyone heard me and I haven't even espoused the punishment I received at home- no not physical, but my hands were sore from re-writing the dictionary every day after school for a month. ah, the joys of rearing fletch! (I wasn't fletch then...that came several years later, in college).
side note: I am facebook friends with my gradeschool classmates and hold no grudge. this is just a simple story for simple minds (like mine) :]
But seriously??? How the fuck do you deal with that mentality? Listening to WASP's "Animal" or Twisted Sister's "We're not gonna take it" only gives some, very limited release. My answer, and lord knows if I'm right, is to stop listening to those anthems and start practicing those anthems. Start doing what they and what YOU preach. Many people (hell, practically every one) doesn't/ don't like what I say because it goes against what they were indoctrinated with (too), but many do appreciate hearing another (albeit a very 'out there') perspective. To me, that is rock-n-roll.
So, yeah, I even go against the teaching "simple minds use simple language".
BUT, and here is the BIG BUTT...and this is what I say to my kids and to their friends who (try to) emulate me...I am 44 years old and have been doing this for a VERY LONG TIME. YOU ARE NOT ME. Perhaps you think there is something cool about me, I get it. I think there is something cool about a lot of rock stars, too. You have to start slowly if you want to go down this path. there are many paths to go down, this is just one. My wife enjoys me (sometimes) and she supports me tremendously. I also have other people in my life that appreciate what I do and allow me to do it; even if we don't see eye to eye all the time. they get it, they get me. Find that core of people who will help you along your way. If I can help you, I will. Life is too short. Find your path. There will be people who appreciate the path that you choose. Trust me.
and I usually end with, "I found the simple life...ain't so simple".
runnin' with the devil!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your review, compelling and well-written, belongs in The New York Times Book Review! Thanks for posting, Al!
p.s. HIM, have you ever read "Easy Riders, Raging Bulls. How The Sex-Drugs & Rock-n-Roll Generation Saved Hollywood"? If you haven't read it already, I strongly recommend it and to anyone who loves The Hollywood New Wave of The 70's, as it illuminates all our faves, giving us a behind the scenes look at the making of all the classics from that era and those involved. Woodstock, Nicholson, Easy Rider, Scorsese, The Graduate, Faye Dunaway, it's all here.
I also recommend "The Kid Stays in the Picture" by Robert Evans. Incredible autobiography about the only living producer to have 2 films selected by The Library of Congress for permanent preservation -- "The Godfather" and "Chinatown".