'Heavy Metal Movies' -- Book Review
Today's post courtesy of commentor HIM.
Book Review: Mike McPadden, Heavy Metal Movies: Guitar Barbarians, Mutant Bimbos & Cult Zombies Amok in the 666 Most Ear- and Eye-Ripping Big-Scream Films Ever! Brooklyn: Bazillion Points, 2014. $34.95. Paperback.
With a title like that, you recognize several things right away. McPadden’s book isn’t for the love ballad set. The target demographic isn’t the ladies of rock n’ roll, but the men that love and lust after them. You aren’t going to find references to Bereford’s Driving Miss Daisy (1989) in his tome. You will, however, get Damiano’s The Devil in Miss Jones (1973). The tone is East Coast brash and West Coast sleazy, deep digging and dirty deeds, lucid and lurid in equal (often hilarious) doses. Heavy Metal Movies embodies all that is great and cringe-inducing about the near seamless mix, in theory and often in practice, of metal and movies. I mean that as a compliment.
McPadden’s bonafides are clearly established, and a bit blue (if you know what I mean). He is the mind behind the nude celeb website Mr. Skin, a former editor at Hustler, and a freelance writer whose work has appeared in publications like Esquire. Again, at this point, you should know if this book will speak (or scream) at you, if you will find the ride great or grating. That said, McPadden is a clear fan of the two most important parts of the title: Metal and Movies. As he states:
I discovered heavy metal and movies to be two byways of a single continuum. Each stream led to uncharted, unpredictable, unlimited oceans of experience and expression and elation.
Heavy Metal Movies more than justifies his thesis. McPadden put a lot of time and passion into assembling a dizzying array of snapshots. It is also a gorgeous book, with a quality full-color, partially glossy, cover/back-cover. Inside, there are numerous black-and-white reprints of movie posters, and a truly brilliant all-color section featuring more of the same. The layout is crisp, the font is easy to read, and headings and sub-headings have a suitably metal style to them. Like the tone, this isn’t a dull book to look at.
The main part of the book is divided thusly: an introduction explaining McPadden’s interest in heavy metal movies; a brief interview with Alice Cooper about his experience with movies and music; over 500 pages of movies, listed “Aye to Zee,” with some brief and some lengthy—but all colorful—abstracts/reviews. These sections are followed by two appendices: “The Unfit Fifteen, Metal Moments in Non-Metal Movies” and “TV Casualties, Notable Headbanging on the Small Screen.”
Before you even get to those pages, though, McPadden slips in an important list: “The Key to the Curse of the Oath of Heavy Metal Movies.” Containing nearly thirty criteria that merit/justify the inclusion of a movie, the list is as expected (soundtracks, concert performances, musicians in speaking roles) as it is at times seemingly tangential (psycho ‘Nam vets?? Goth Chicks?!!?). Then again, movies and metal aren’t Russell and Whitehead’s Principia Mathematica (1910-13). And thank Slayer for that.
Beyond the hints above, what sorts of films are featured in Heavy Metal Movies? You name it. B- and C-grade popcorn features, documentaries, musicals, Hollywood blockbusters, classics, contemporary (up to this year) releases, and porn (recall his credentials). McPadden includes movies he doesn’t like and ones I have a hard time figuring out. For every artistic short-lister (Bruñuel’s Un Chien Andalou, 1929) there is a dog’s dinner (Stanton’s John Carter, 2013). Only in the manic world of McPadden can Heyn and Krulick’s brilliant Heavy Metal Parking Lot (1986) get mentioned within pages of Jackson’s “I am so drunk I will watch this with one eye closed” Hell Comes to Frogtown (1987).
The continuum McPadden sets up can deliver a delightful jolt or two. He shocked me back into my past, to a time when Tower Records handed out scroll-length calendars each year and had a dedicated section for metal music and accessories. That sweet spot in the past, from the mid-70s through the late-80s, when Priest’s “Living after Midnight” (1980) just meant . . . well, that you liked to stay up late like KISS told you to do. I can still recall watching the videos for Lynch’s Eraserhead (1977), Fulci’s Zombi/Zombie 2 (1979), Davenport’s Xtro (1983), and Gordon’s From Beyond (1986, pictured but sadly not discussed). I hadn’t thought about several of those movies in years. McPadden’s mojo must have been working though: tonally, for me at least, those movies are as metal as an umlaut, visual bombast that stands alongside the musical mayhem on Motörhead’s No Sleep til’ Hammersmith or Crüe’s Too Fast for Love (both 1981).
Even so, McPadden’s “wide net” approach leads to all sorts of questions. Are Woodstock (1970) and Cream: Strange Brew (1991) more metal than Pam and Tommy Lee: Stolen Honeymoon (1998)? Are Deep Throat (1972) and 1984 (1984) really that metal? If you include Bava’s Black Sabbath (1963) on account of obvious inspiration, why not include Lang’s Metropolis (1929) as well? If a number of documentaries featuring Iron Maiden are included, why not add the television show/mid-60s mind-bender The Prisoner? After all, it inspired one of their stronger, more straight-ahead, songs. I know the answer to the last one: it is an inspiration, and not a moment. So it falls outside the borders of a rather wide-ranging book and the short aforementioned television appendix. But Gidget (1966)?? The Paul Lynde Halloween Special (1976)?!!?
Here’s the thing: this is his list, not mine. These are his passions, and many of them turn out to be mine too. Not all of them, granted. But quite a lot of them. That doesn’t distract from the book or its pleasures. In fact, a book like this starts more conversations than it ends. It belongs in a place designed for high-traffic and constant reference. Dare a friend to pick the book up and open to any page. There is a discussion, or debate, or fight to be had. That’s a strength of Heavy Metal Movies. McPadden’s book doesn’t belong on a shelf. Like metal and movies, you need to experience it.
I, for one, can’t wait for Heavy Metal Movies II. But, please, no more Gidget.
Currently on sale at the Bazillion Points website (bazillionpoints.com) for $24.95, with limited edition “sewn patch, and exclusive barf bag.”